If you had a birth with one of the providers at Women's Contemporary Health-Care and would like to share your birth story, please email us at wchcare@gmail.com!

Logan Lee's Birth Story I found out I was expecting my first baby November 16, 2010. The first trimester felt like an eternity as I endured morning sickness, moodiness, sore breasts, and all of the other early pregnancy signs. My favorite trimester was the second as I felt much better physically and began to feel little “flutters” of my precious baby. We wished to know the gender of our little bean finding out that we would give birth to a little boy. The last trimester was the most exciting, and also where our birth story begins. I’ve always assumed that I would give birth naturally. Growing up my mother would always tell me how she gave birth to my three brothers and me without any pain medication, and I admired her for that. Once I became pregnant, the thought of childbirth without pain relief terrified me—yet I wanted to do it natural more than anything. I researched as much as I could and decided that I would want to have a doula (knowledgeable labor support person) present, and we would like to use the Bradley Method for dealing with un-medicated childbirth. During a search online, I found Katie. We met with her to discuss possibilities of her being our doula, and also found out that she taught natural childbirth classes. I guess the first time was the charm, because after meeting with her we both immediately felt comfortable and wanted her to be our doula. We also took her classes and learned a ton about birth. Around 30 weeks pregnant, I met with my OB/GYN for a routine appointment. The reason we went to their practice was because they were local and I didn’t really think to look elsewhere. I asked them about giving birth naturally and their routine practices with births. Let’s just say that every answer made me increasingly uneasy and by the time we left I was in tears. Katie suggested that we look for a place that catered more toward what we were looking for in a care provider. Again, I have Google to thank for finding an awesome Nurse-Midwife practice in Westerville, OH. Women’s Contemporary Health Care was kind enough to take me on as a patient at 32 weeks! I loved going to my appointments and felt like they really cared and respected how we wanted to do our birth. Switching to them was one of the smartest moves I made during my pregnancy. We visited Mount Carmel St. Ann’s Hospital the midwives have privileges at, and loved how huge the birthing rooms were and the fact that they have tubs for natural laborers to labor or birth in! I couldn’t wait until it was my day to go to the hospital to give birth to our son. One time I heard that the longer a person’s labor is, the more patient their child will be. That must mean Logan is going to be one patient individual! Our initial due date was July 15, but after our first ultrasound they changed it to July 24. Both dates came and went. I experienced period-like Braxton Hicks cramps while shopping at Kroger a few days before my due date. I can’t say that I wasn’t disappointed that they went away. I kept telling myself that it’s very common for first time mothers to go past their due dates. Wednesday, July 27th I went to my midwife appointment and had my first internal exam. She said that I was 80% effaced and 2 cm dilated. I was glad to hear that my body was doing something to prepare for Logan to arrive.My mom and I went shopping for an exercise ball on Friday so that I could bounce on it in hopes of bringing the baby down. I think I bounced a couple hundred times on it that night, and I prayed to God that He would put me into labor so that I could meet my little boy. On Saturday, July 30th, I was awakened at 3:00AM to a contraction (God heard my prayers!). It felt different from the Braxton Hicks ones—much more intense. I went to the bathroom and layed back down to try and get some sleep. While lying there, I felt another one about 6 minutes later. Then another. And another. After about ten of those, I got up because I couldn’t sleep. I went online and found a contraction timer, so I surfed the net and clicked the button each time I had a contraction. They lasted for about 30 seconds long and were 6 minutes apart. I decided to wake Caleb up when they started to last 45 seconds. Neither of us had ever experienced labor before, so we contacted our doula, Katie. She asked if we wanted her to come over, so I told her yes because I was afraid my contractions would suddenly get closer and we’d need to head to the hospital which is about an hour away. I wish they had picked up that quick! Katie arrived at our house around 7:00AM or 8:00AM (I can’t remember the exact time), and I suddenly knew that I had called her too soon. I felt pretty sheepish. She told me that it didn’t matter and that’s what we’re paying her for, but I still felt guilty for calling too early. My contractions were in my back and then wrapped around to the front of my uterus, so I held a heat pad on my back to help relieve the pain. Katie felt the position of the baby and said that he seemed to be in a good position for birth, so the back pain is probably because I carry my tension there. Lucky me! I called the midwives and talked to Becky. She told me that she would call to check on me in a little while. We went outside and walked for a little bit and enjoyed the beautiful morning. Around 10:30AM we were all getting a little hungry and I wanted to make sure I was well fueled for labor, so Katie ran to Subway for us. My contractions were about 5 minutes apart and lasting a minute or longer. While she was gone, they seemed to pick up. I could still talk through my contractions, so I knew I was still in early labor. After the movie, Katie suggested that we try to take a nap and be well rested for the harder labor. She left us alone for a little while. My contractions kept coming until Caleb said that he wanted to lie down in the bedroom to take a nap. While alone, my contractions began to slow down. I tried to sleep a little bit, but whenever I attempted to lie on my side, I felt an intense pressure in my uterus making it impossible to be in that position. The best I could do was stack pillows and lean my head against them while sitting up. I would doze off and wake up from a contraction. Eventually I just gave up on sleeping. I still had contractions, but they became irregular. When Katie returned that afternoon, she said to me that she thought I was going to have a long labor. Immediately, I felt disheartened and upset. She told me that I could even have the baby as soon as tomorrow, but it didn’t look like it would go anywhere today. I was too upset to call the midwife, so Katie called her for me and asked what they suggested I do. Becky told her to tell me to take a long shower and some Benadryl, and try to get sleep. Katie left our house, and as soon as she pulled away I broke down in tears and sobbed while hugging Caleb. After so many hours of laboring, I still wasn’t in active labor. After taking a shower, I reluctantly took the Benadryl and it soon made me groggy enough to fall asleep on my mountain of pillows. My mom came over that night to comfort me and I tried to pay attention to her, but I was too out of it. The next morning, July 31st, around 3:00AM (again) I woke up to a contraction. This one was stronger than any of the others from the day before. By now I was pretty sure I would never have the baby, so I tried to ignore it. They were 5-7 minutes apart lasting one minute or longer. I took another shower. Every time I talked to my mom on the phone, I would have a strong contraction. Every time I peed I would have a strong contraction. They began to get closer together, about every 3-5 minutes, so we called the midwives and talked to Becky again. She said she’d check on us in a little bit. After a few hours my contractions were becoming irregular again and when Becky called I told her the same thing that happened yesterday was happening again. I ate a little bit, but I was really not that hungry. My mom came over and sat with me for a while. I texted Katie and asked her if Castor Oil really worked to get labor going. I was getting a “little” sick of being in labor. She told me that she has a midwife friend named Joan who could stop by to check on me and see if I’ve progressed at all. I told her that I would love it if she stopped by. Joan came to our house and felt the position of the baby. She also agreed that the baby was in a good position, so positioning probably wasn’t the cause of my horrible back labor. She did an internal exam and told me that I was about 6 cm dilated and almost 100% effaced. Also, she thought that the water bag was very bulgy and could rupture at any time. Her exam really made me feel better, because I at least knew that my suffering was actually causing progress!! After Joan left, my contractions started to become a LOT more powerful. I needed Caleb to be holding my hand as I had contractions, and I would close my eyes to shut out the world. When my contractions became so powerful that they took my breath away, I gave the midwives another call. It was around 7:00PM, and Emily had taken over as the midwife on call. I told her that my contractions still weren’t super regular, but they were becoming so power that they frightened me a bit. She asked if I’d like to go into the hospital soon, and I told her I had an hour drive and really wanted to get there before things really got going. So she notified the hospital, and I called my mom who I wanted to be present at the birth. My mom headed our way and we got everything in the car ready to go and I ate half of a sandwich and a Greek yogurt for energy even though I had no appetite. We also called Katie and told her to meet us at the hospital. She had a longer drive than we did. I am so glad that Caleb has an adaptor for the car where we could plug the heating pad into!! Without the heating pad, my back labor was almost unbearable. We drove down I-71 South toward Columbus. I told Caleb not to speed, because I was sure we’d have plenty of time to get there. After driving for a while, I really had to use the restroom. Exit 131 was the closest exit, so we pulled off there and stopped at McDonald’s. I was wearing my pajamas, so my mom ran over and put an extra sweatshirt on me as I waddled toward the bathrooms. While urinating, I had a really bad contraction. I used the heat from the hand dryer on my back. I think we got a lot of strange looks from people. Haha! We arrived at St. Ann’s around 8:40PM or somewhere around there. Caleb dropped me off at the door and parked the car. We waited for my mom and then headed in. I had preregistered online, so our check in was expedited. I had a contraction while trying to sign paperwork and remember my Social Security number. We were sent into triage where they would monitor my contractions and check my dilation. By now it was becoming difficult for me to walk faster than a shuffle. I had a contraction the way to the room. As we were heading into the triage room, I felt a gush of liquid. I remember saying, “I think my water just broke!” The nurse strapped a monitor to my belly and a blood pressure cuff to my arm. She did an internal exam, and said I was almost 6 cm and over 90% effaced. She also agreed my water bag had ruptured. Katie arrived while we were in the triage room. They admitted me into the hospital and walked me to my birthing room. I was very excited when they told me I got a room with a birthing tub. When we arrived at the room, I realized that it was room number 9 which is my lucky number! =) The nurse asked me a series of questions including, “Are you getting an epidural?” which my response was a strong “No.” They put a hep-lock in my arm and a hospital band on. Emily arrived with a midwife in training who was also named Emily. I was nervous, and so I joked around quite a bit. Emily told me that I didn’t act like someone who was 6 cm dilated. She asked me if I wanted to labor in the shower for a little while, and the thought of warm water on my aching back and stomach sounded like heaven. So Caleb and I went to the shower and I sat down on the bench and I sprayed my back while going through contractions. He bought me a frozen lemonade from Tim Horton’s which tasted amazing. I wanted to be sure that I stayed well hydrated. My contractions came hard and fast while in the shower. When I started to become lightheaded from the heat and steam, I decided to get out of the shower and try something else. In the labor room, Emily, Emily, Katie, and my mom sat. All of a sudden I felt unsure of myself. I sat on the birthing ball and they wanted to check the baby during a contraction. Because I lost my confidence, I was too tense to contract. So I imagined going to the bathroom on the ball and it brought one on. (LOL) I asked everyone why my contractions were slowing down when I was around people, so they suggested I be by myself with just Caleb and my mom. I told Emily that I had intense contraction while going to the bathroom, so she told me that I should sit backwards on the toilet for a while. I’m sure I had a look of horror on my face, because by now I hated the toilet for that very reason. As soon as everyone left us alone and I was on the toilet I began having strong, frequent contractions. They became worse as time went on. I had to be holding Caleb’s hand and have the heat pad on my back to get through them. After each contraction, Caleb offered me a drink of ice water. It became a must for me to sip water afterwards. Emily came in and told me to try another position. By now I wasn’t thinking as clearly as before. I shuffled my way to the bed, and they raised it up so that I could lean against the back of it while being on my knees. I would lay my head on the bed and try to breathe through the contractions. It was at this point that I wanted Katie to be there. Emily suggested that I get into the tub, and I was more than happy to. I leaned over the side of the tub and held Caleb’s hand. Katie sat at the corner of the tub and put pressure on my back as I contracted. As my contractions began to intensify even more than before, I had to make noise to get through them. I remember reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, and they said that sounds in a lower register helps to open up the pelvic floor. I would make loan moaning sounds during the contractions, and whenever I felt weak I would make high pitch cries. Emily would tell me to pull it together and that I could do it, and then I collected myself enough to calm down again. My voice began to match the intensity of the contractions. It was my way of coping. They started to come one on top of another, and my body began to shake. I thought to myself, “I’m going through Transition right now.” I could not speak when asked a question. I would just cup my hand to say that I wanted a sip of water. I couldn’t open my eyes. I was completely inside of my head concentrating. I remember praying to God to keep me strong enough to get through it. I knew that the only way I could do it was through He who gives me strength. Caleb needed to use the bathroom, and so they told me my mom could hold my hand instead. She has a hand disease where they can’t get cold or she gets ulcers, and I was able to speak enough to say, “NO! Her hands!” After a few minutes I was okay with her holding my hand instead of Caleb. He was back really quick anyways. They wanted to check my dilation to see if I was complete to push (as per my request in my birth plan to only be checked then). I had a lip of cervix stuck on one side of his head, so they had me lie on that side to labor. Moving at all at this point was horrible. I’m sure I wasn’t the easiest person to deal with. I remember hearing them talk about where I wanted to give birth. They got me out of the tub and told me to use the restroom. I sobbed. They told me that it would take away a lot of pressure when it came to pushing. I slowly walked toward the restroom. Above the door was a clock that said it was well past midnight. I looked at it and said, “He’s going to be born on my Dad’s birthday.” I used the toilet, washed my hands (I’m a germaphobe! Lol), and we walked to the bed. I labored leaning over the back of the bed, and I told them I felt the need to push. They tried to check me, but I snapped at them and said no because I was ready to have a contraction. In between, I yelled at Emily (midwife in training) to check me NOW. She said that I was complete and could push whenever I felt the need to. When asked how I wanted to push, I couldn’t think and said, “I don’t know” between sobs. They asked if I wanted to use the squatting bar and I said yes. I would grab onto the bar and squat down to push. I wanted to use gravity as much as possible. I would push about three to four times with each contraction. My legs began to get weak and wobbly after a while and every time I sat to rest I would cry because the pressure was the most intense, extreme feeling that I have ever felt , and I told them, “I quit.” They retorted, “You can’t quit!” LOL. I never wanted an epidural; I just wanted it to be over. I prayed really, really, REALLY hard that Logan would come soon. Emily could see that I was getting worn out from the squatting and they were having trouble reading Logan’s heart rate, so they had me lie on my left side. When they couldn’t get a good read with the belly monitor they put on me, they used an internal fetal monitor. The monitor showed that each time I pushed, his heart rate dropped to a really low number. His head kept crowning and going back. I pushed with all of my might, but time was of the essence and Emily told me she was going to cut me. After the episiotomy, his head came out more but not enough for it to pop out. Everyone was encouraging me to push as hard as I could and told me that it was very, very important to get Logan out NOW. I pushed as hard as possible and finally got his head out. They told me to push again to get his body out. I literally felt his body twist inside of me and I let out a really loud scream because the pressure was SOOO intense. The cord was wrapped around his neck, so they cut it as quick as they could. I waited to hear him cry, and finally he did as they placed him onto my chest. Logan Lee was born August 1st, 2011 at 3:37AM (on his grandpa’s birthday!), and he weighed 9 lbs 5 oz. He was 20 inches long and his head was 14.2” around. My labor was around 48 hours long, and I pushed for 1 hr and 45 mins. He is one of the best things to happen to me, and I feel empowered, proud, and strong to have delivered him naturally. I will do this again for my future children. =) Logan is 4 months old now and weighs 17 lbs and is as healthy as a baby could be.

Aoife's Birth Story I was due at the end of April with my third baby. Two weeks before I was due, I started having irregular contractions and menstrual-like cramping. This continued for nearly three weeks. I started to wonder if I would believe I was actually in labor once it started in full force. On the evening of Monday, May 2, I noticed I was having some intense cramping in my low back. This was new, but I didn't think much about it. I went to bed, but woke up around 4 am with crampy contractions. They were regular but didn't feel very strong. Despite my worries, I had very little doubt that this was the real thing. By 4:30 I was not comfortable laying in bed anymore. I got up and ate something and cleaned up the kitchen. The contractions continued, nice and regular. I sat on my birth ball at the kitchen table and opened my laptop. I found a webpage with a contraction timing app. They were about 5 minutes apart and 60 seconds long, definitely longer and closer together than they had been when I first woke up. My husband came downstairs and I told him I was in labor. We sat together working at our computers for awhile. Around 5:30 he suggested that we call our doula. I wasn't sure it was time yet, as I wasn't even needing to breathe through contractions yet, but because I knew she had a rather long drive to get to us, I called her. She said she'd come right then. Sitting was extremely uncomfortable by that point, so I went upstairs and took a shower, then finished gathering the things we needed to take to the hospital. By the time the doula arrived around, my contractions were intense enough that I was stopping and breathing through the peak, and even beginning to make some small vocalizations during some of them. I was hungry around 7:30 and made some peanut butter toast, but after one bite I felt so nauseated I couldn't eat more. Ten minutes later I threw up. Soon after that, the doula suggested we leave for the hospital soon. The contractions still weren't very intense, but I knew that throwing up can be a sign of nearing the end of labor, so I agreed and called WCH's answering service. Becky was on call and called back right away. I told her we were leaving soon and she said she'd meet us there. We dropped our older boys off at my sister's house and arrived at the hospital a little after 8:00. I had some contractions at the registration desk that I couldn't talk through, but I was alert enough between contractions to answer questions. In triage, the nurse checked me and we were all shocked that I was 7 cm. I had only been 2 cm at my 40w appointment a few days before, and the contractions didn't feel like what I remembered contractions at 7cm feeling like. We were taken to our birthing room right away. Becky got there soon after that. It was a little after 8:30. Because they hadn't gotten enough monitoring in triage, I had to spend some time on the monitor in the birthing room. Standing was the position I wanted to be in, and fortunately the baby cooperated. So I stood by the monitoring equipment and worked my way through contractions with breathing and swaying side to side, my husband behind me with his hands on my shoulders. The baby had some decels that concerned Becky a little so they kept me on the monitor a while longer and had me drink some juice, which seemed to help. Someone suggested that I get on the bed and lean over the raised head of it, so I did that. My contractions hadn't been super intense to that point. They took my concentration but once I made it over the peak, I was fine and could talk and answer questions if needed. All of a sudden, they got really, really intense. I could feel enormous pressure as the baby was moving down, and I was feeling pushy. I pushed once and my water broke with a huge gush all over the bed. I heard Becky say there was some mild meconium. My doula helped me move down to hands and knees on the bed. I could feel the baby crowning with such intensity I felt consumed by it. I wanted nothing more than to make that sensation go away, but with the help of my husband and doula, I resisted the desire to push just to make the sensation stop. At last, the next contraction started and it was time to push again (at last!). With one push our baby was born -- head, shoulders and body, all at once -- on another flood of amniotic fluid. (Poor Becky got drenched!) Aoife Kathleen was born at 9:32am on May 3, just 5.5 hours after I first woke up. She was 7lbs 12oz and 19.25" long.

Lena's Birth Story I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions throughout my third trimester. But on the Saturday before my due date, after a prenatal yoga class, the contractions started to change. I began to feel them lower in my belly and they became a bit more painful, more crampy. But, there was no pattern to them-- I’d feel them for a little while and then they’d go away. This happened on and off all weekend. On Monday morning, I had my weekly appointment with Emily. I told her about the change in my contractions and she agreed that they sounded more like "real" contractions. But, it turned out I was only a fingertip dilated. She reminded me not to be discouraged-- even though my cervix wasn’t showing much progress, the baby could come later that day. Or, it could be another week. Later that evening, I went to bed and woke up at about 1am with more contractions, which were happening at about 20 minutes apart. All of a sudden I felt wide awake and alert, but after about 90 minutes, the contractions petered out. I went to work on Tuesday and spent the day sitting on an exercise ball a co-worker loaned me, hoping that that would help things progress. I had the same on-and-off again contractions all day. By the end of the day, the contractions were happening frequently, but with no pattern-- sometimes 5-10 minutes apart, sometimes 20 minutes apart. I was starting to feel confused about what was going on, because everyone said that I would "just know" when I was having real contractions. But I wasn’t sure at all! Since I knew that true labor contractions are supposed to keep going even when you change positions, at about 8:30pm that evening, I decided to lie down to see what would happen. I emailed my mom in Cincinnati to let her know what was going on. At around 9pm, the contractions started to become regular and I began timing them at 9:40pm. They were almost one minute long, coming about every six minutes-- much closer together than I was expecting at first! After an hour, I called my doula to share the news. She agreed that it sounded like labor had started and said she would be on her way over. I also called my mom and dad so they could drive up. The doula arrived around 11:15pm and, for the first hour or so, she just helped me relax by massaging my feet. She also made sure I had a sip of water with every contraction so I could stay hydrated. After an hour or so, when it was clear the contractions were progressing, the doula thought we should page the midwives to let them know that I would probably be coming in to the hospital soon. It turned out Becky was on call and she said that I should call when I was ready to leave for the hospital. My parents arrived around 1:30am and I was still managing my contractions by lying on the couch on my side. Even though it was late and they made a long drive, they were so excited to become first-time grandparents! After another hour or so, my contractions began to progress to just 3-4 minutes apart and become intense enough that I needed to breathe through them. The doula helped me and my mom practice working through the contractions-- I leaned over the back of the couch and swung my hips from side to side, breathing deeply. At about 3:15am, we decided to go to the hospital and I called Becky again to let her know we were on our way. Just as we were getting things together, I began to feel nauseous and went in to the bathroom and threw up everything I had eaten since dinner that night. This was a big blow, since I knew that once I got to the hospital, I would not be allowed to eat. I was not looking forward to going through labor and delivery on an empty stomach. On the way to the hospital I drank a big cup of cold, sugary fruit punch to make sure the baby would be moving when they hooked me up to the monitors in triage. We arrived at the hospital around 4am. I had two contractions while they were checking me in-- they were intense enough that it was hard to answer their questions until the contractions passed. When I went in to triage, they hooked me up to the monitors to check the baby's heart rate and my contractions. The fruit punch had done its job, because the baby was moving just fine. But unfortunately, I ended up throwing up the fruit punch, too. They asked me more questions and then Becky came in to check me. I was 4cm dilated and 80% effaced. That was enough progress to be admitted to the hospital, but I needed to do some walking to continue the dilation. Becky gave me the option to walk around the hospital, or to go to the labor and delivery room and then walk in the halls. Since it was the middle of the night and chilly outside, I opted to be admitted. So, they set me up with an IV port in my hand and gave me some medicine for nausea. After leaving our things in the labor and delivery room at about 4:30am, my parents and I walked the halls. Every few minutes, I had to stop to lean on the railing in the hall to work through a contraction. At around 5:15am, it felt like my water had broken, which I thought was a good sign of progress. We got back to the room at around 5:20am and I went straight in to the shower to work through some contractions with the relief of the hot water. It felt good, but it became hard to stand after a while. For the next couple of hours, I worked through contractions in different positions-- leaning over the back of the bed on my knees and lying on my side in bed. While lying in bed, I remember saying, “I hate this position”-- the contractions were becoming very intense. Becky reminded me that if something is uncomfortable, it meant that it was progressing my labor. At some point, my mom told Becky and nurse Annie that I had been born on shift change. Becky said I’d have to hurry if I wanted to make it, since shift change was coming up at 7am. Of course, 7am came and went. Around 8am, Becky checked me and I was 6cm dilated-- good progress, but still a ways to go. Next I moved to sit on the birthing ball, leaning over the edge of the bed. This position was even more uncomfortable than lying on my side. Some of the contractions seemed extra long and I remember just moaning and throwing my head back. I really wanted to get in to the bath tub, which I was sure would feel like heaven, but Becky wanted me to work through a few more contractions sitting on the ball. Eventually, they filled up the bath tub and I got in, but it was so uncomfortable! I could not find a position where I felt stable and I got out after only 10 minutes. At this point, I started to become discouraged. The contractions were very difficult to work through and I was very tired. Becky moved me to the shower again-- this time they had gotten me a shower seat. I sprayed the warm water over my belly and moaned through each contraction. After some time, Becky had me get out of the shower and sit backwards on the toilet. I remember dreading this position, but it wasn’t as bad as I had thought, mostly because at this point, my contractions had started to slow down and ease off. At some point, Becky left the bathroom and nurse Annie came in with me. I don’t know how long I was in this position, but Annie eventually helped me leave the bathroom. I was really exhausted and remember having a hard time keeping up with what was happening and following instructions. I spent a little time leaning over the back of the bed again. At around 11am, Becky came back and wanted to check me again. I was reluctant because I was worried that if I hadn’t made much progress-- if I was still 6cm or even just at 7cm-- I would be discouraged. Sure enough, Becky checked and I was still only 6cm dilated. And, she said my bag of waters was intact! What had broken before was probably my forebag-- yet another discouraging piece of news. Since my cervix hadn’t dilated further, my contractions were weakening and I was obviously exhausted, Becky said we needed to talk about options. She said she could break my bag of waters and I could keep going, but she estimated I had another 6-8 hours of labor ahead of me. She said I could take Nubain, which could give me about an hour of rest and then keep going. Or, she said I could have an epidural. She left me to talk it over with my parents. I knew almost immediately that the epidural was the right option for me. I had an empty stomach and I hadn't slept in over 24 hours. I was just so tired, weak and out of it, I definitely didn’t think I had enough strength to make it another 6-8 hours and I didn’t think an hour of rest would give me enough energy to keep going. When Becky returned, I told her my decision and preparations began. Cruelly, I had to spend a couple of hours working through contractions before the anesthetist arrived to administer the epidural. Once it kicked in, Becky came in and broke my bag of waters. And shortly after that, they administered Pitocin to help strengthen my contractions. At this point, my parents left for a little while to get lunch and to leave me alone to rest. Becky also left the hospital to go home and get some rest, leaving instructions with Annie to call her when I was fully dilated. For the next few hours, Annie continued to check my progress and, by 4pm, I was 9cm dilated. There was only a little bit of cervix left on one side, so Annie had me lie on my side to encourage the last bit to thin and dilate. At this point, the baby was lying face up so we were also hoping she’d turn around. After a little while lying down, I began to have strong indigestion, so they sat me upright with my feet over the edge of the bed. Around 5pm I began to have a slight urge to push, though it was hard to tell I was so numb from the epidural. Annie checked and I was finally fully dilated! Becky arrived back at the hospital around 6:30pm, ready for me to start pushing. Even better, she discovered that the baby had turned around to a better position, facing more to the side. Becky warned me that for first-time moms, the pushing can take a while-- she guessed 1-3 hours. I prepared myself mentally for the long haul. I was semi-reclined in bed, with my mom holding my left leg and Annie holding my right leg. When a contraction started, I took a deep breath and then pushed, holding my chin to my chest, pulling back on my knees and holding my breath-- I did this three times during each contraction. I had a hard time feeling anything, but Becky said I was doing a good job. After a few more pushes, the baby's head appeared. Becky lowered a mirror from the ceiling once the baby's head began to stay visible-- we were all surprised at how fast I was pushing the baby out! It was looking like I might make the 7pm shift change after all! When I was watching what was happening in the mirror, Becky noticed that my pushes became more effective, so despite my squeamishness, I watched the baby's head emerging. Once we got further along, Becky had me wait through two contractions so that I would stretch a little bit, reducing the likelihood of a tear. Finally, Becky said I should give one big push and a little push. After just 45 minutes of pushing, the baby slid right out with her little right hand up next to her face. Becky told me to reach down and grab her. I pulled her up on my belly and we both started crying immediately. Becky told me not to pull any further, because the baby's umbilical cord was short and wouldn’t reach. After a few moments, they cut the cord and I pulled her up to my chest to nurse. From that point on, the only thing I was focused on was my baby girl, Lena-- the most beautiful, amazing thing I’ve ever seen! --- Although I was disappointed that I didn’t have the unmedicated labor and delivery I had hoped for, in the end, I'm thankful I chose the epidural. If I had pushed myself to continue without it, I probably would have been too exhausted to enjoy those first wonderful hours of bonding with my baby girl.

Zoe's Birth Story We'll start this story on Zoe's "due date." As we learned in our childbirth classes and through our midwives, and would come to experience all-too-well, a "due date" is really only an educated guesstimate about the time a little one will arrive. Zoe's "due time" started when she was full term, about three weeks prior to the magic January 31 date, and she could reasonably come two weeks after. Of course, this has become a minority view in the world of childbirthing, so when I showed up for work on January 31, I think I made more than a few folks nervous. And again on February 1. On February 2, we were homebound with an ice storm that not only closed the schools, but also left us without power, including water since our cistern pump requires electricity. Oh, and our old garage door was stuck down. With no electricity, if something started to happen "down south," we would have to call the fire department to open our door, take me to the hospital, or clean up after a home birth. Needless to say, I did not receive well Brett's attempts at humor as I lay on the couch bundled up around my belly, trying to remain as immobile as possible to keep this baby in until our modern comforts returned. Back to school on February 2 and 3. And 4. That week, I went in for the midwife appointment I had scoffed at scheduling, to find out that I had not even begun to dilate. Panic and self-imposed bed rest (cute how I thought I REALLY had any control at that point) ensued that weekend as my midwives were out of town at a conference. Though the practice has a fantastic OB who would be on board with our birth wishes, we wanted desperately to be attended by Becky or Emily, who would be with us the entire time. Thankfully, we made it through the weekend. By Monday (one week post-EDD), I was uncomfortable enough to call it quits at work. Pelvic pressure - among other discomforts (including, but not limited to, folks worriedly asking when the baby was coming and telling me I was crazy to be there when she could come any minutes. Ha. Keep reading) - forced an early break, even though I had intended to work all the way up until Zoe was born. At that week's appointment, Becky performed a fetal non-stress test and an ultrasound to check on our little one, and everything still looked great, even though I still was not dilated. There was no medical reason to induce, and I had zero desire to induce just because we were possibly in week 41; I knew that, if we forced this baby out too early, I would dramatically increase the odds of other interventions, including a c-section. Because, according to my records, we were in week 41, Becky and the OB went back through my old ultrasounds to make a determination about continued monitoring. It turns out that -- surprise! -- my records from my previous OB's office were off, and it was possible that I was due closer to February 5 than January 31. This was the first we'd ever heard that date, and I was so thankful that we hadn't rushed into an induction. As long as she was still doing well, we would let her take her time. That week, I continued to putz around and rest while I could ... resting at night was minimal at that point due to the giant, moving watermelon pressing on my bladder, my back, my sciatic nerve, and my ribs. (Here's where Brett takes over ... it will give you a hint of how this story goes to tell you that we worked on this in the hospital early Sunday morning after I finally gave in to an epidural. Sweet, sweet defeat, but sweet, sweet relief) Friday, February 11, G woke up around 1:30 a.m. to some new discomfort. She could only describe it as tightness low in her abdomen that, at times, would take my breath away. She couldn't sleep, so she decided to download an app on the iPad to track what she suspected to be contractions. G finally woke Brett up around 5 a.m. because, for the past few hours, the contractions were consistently 60-90 second long, five minutes apart, much quicker than we'd anticipated they would start out. We called Becky to figure out how to proceed, and, as we'd planned with our childbirth educator Sharon, Becky encouraged G to labor at home as long as possible. The contractions stayed at that pace until the afternoon, when they started to space out. By the time we went to bed, they had become inconsistent and were at times up to 10 minutes apart. G, predictably, did not sleep well (and Brett slept only marginally well in 9 minute increments, interspersed with ferocious arm-grips). Saturday morning, the contractions were still eight or nine minutes apart, but far more intense, so we decided to go to the hospital to get checked out - thinking surely G's cervix had made some progress since her Tuesday appointment when there had been no dilation. We were disappointed to learn that G was just a centimeter or two dilated. Becky prescribed an Ambien, and told Gretchen to go home and rest. We took a short nap, and once again Gretchen had strong contractions, this time 3 to 5 minutes apart when walking around, but further apart when sitting. The entire time, we practiced what we'd learned in hypnobirthing class -- visualizations, self-hypnosis deepening exercises, position changes and, especially, relaxation breathing and breathing with the contractions. By 5 p.m., because the contractions were slowing down again, and G was getting very fatigued, we called Becky to get a little more information. Becky was already at the hospital and offered that we could come in and discuss our options. After another disappointing cervical check - 2cm, even after 40 hours of contractions - Becky laid out three options: (1) go back home, try again later; (2) walk around the hospital (probably wouldn't do much save tire G further); (3) get a small dose of Pitocin going to try and increase the contractions. We reluctantly opted for number 3, as the prospect of another sleepless night of difficult contractions and no progress was not palatable. G started on the Pitocin around 8 p.m. Saturday night. She labored in a variety of positions (as much as being hooked up to monitors and Pitocin would allow, unfortunately; the shower was now off limits), changing about every half an hour with an attendant increase in Pitocin. The contractions increased to approximately 4 minute intervals, but by 1 a.m., Gretchen's cervix had dilated to just 3cm. Becky predicted another 12 hours or so of contractions before full dilation. Another unexpected discussion later, we reluctantly agreed to have an epidural, which would help Gretchen rest and prepare to give Zoe the best possible delivery. (Here's Gretchen with the epidural report -- dealing with contractions was an exercise in mental and physical endurance, for which I'd prepared with the mindset and physical preparation of a runner, and with hypnobirthing class. I could frame the contractions as pressures that were bringing my baby closer to me, trying to shut off the "pain" perception. They were productive, and I could deal with them with this positive mindset. The epidural itself, though, was PAINFUL. There's nothing happy or natural about lightning shooting down my leg as the cold anesthesiologist repeatedly tells me to relax. That said, after it was inserted, I couldn't feel anything at all, except when the medicine ran out right at about 7 cm dilation. And I had to wait 45 minutes, while immobile, for the anesthesiologist to come check it out. This was the only time during the process that I swore at my darling husband. Note to others: keep an eye on those pain meds.) By all measures, the plan -- though it was a deviation from our original preferences. Isn't it always that way? -- was a success - Gretchen's dilation increased from 3cm to 8cm by 6 a.m., all while she rested (moderately) comfortably, sleeping for the first time in two nights. A few hours later, and at 9 cm, the hospital folk decided to (finally) break G's water. Once broken, the doctor discovered a bit of meconium - the baby girl was already an aggressive pooper. Of course, this development came with a modicum of concern; baby girl may have some trouble breathing when she first comes out, and may have to get a little assistance. Fingers crossed. 10 a.m., time to push. As protracted and difficult as labor was, delivery was its evil twin. Brett had determined not to "watch," as all squeamish men do, but by the second delivery contraction, he couldn't help but observe. A first glimpse of your child's head will do that to you. Fifteen minutes of excellent pushing by G, and baby Zoe came out with an audible and visible *pop.* Brett, for his part, broke down in tears of joy immediately. More importantly, Zoe cried. --------- It wasn't the au natural experience we had envisioned, but it gave me my first taste of the rest of my life; we stuck to our principles, but ultimately, we listened to our daughter's needs and modified our plans to best meet those needs. She wasn't ready to come out on January 31, nor was she going to make it a quick process. But we listened to her, and she had a safe, healthy birth and a quick delivery, and my body was prepared to make a speedy recovery. I may have had visions of a glorious water birth, but ultimately, in giving up my hopes for myself, I gave a safe, smooth, beautiful birth to my baby girl.

Julia's Birth Story I woke up at 2:20am to go to the bathroom, and my water broke. It truly is like a non stop floodgate! I felt something sort of “pop” and it felt a little odd, a bit different. I stood up and out it poured. And it didn’t quit. I went to Jay and I said, “my water broke…what again are we supposed to do?” I sat on towels and called Emily who asked if she was moving. She wasn't... because she always sleeps then. Even though I knew that was why, after the hour was up I called Emily back and she had us go in to the hospital for monitoring. If everything was good, we could go home. We got there at 4am - it was so surreal showing up at the hospital in the middle of the night… even though I preregistered they took forever it seemed at the front desk. They hooked me up to the monitors and there was her sweet little heartbeat. But she was still sleepy. The nurse, Leah, was wonderful – but she told me if I was to go home I had to have my cervix checked because the attending physician was “conservative”. She told us that a few times so I had a feeling we were in for an issue once we tried to go home. I was on it for 2 miserable hours with contractions starting and pushing up against those stupid monitor pad things. Her heartbeat was there, and I didn’t see what the problem was, but we could only get her to wiggle around a bit. Eventually she had enough activity that the resident said we got it “by the skin of our teeth”. I talked to Emily who said she thought we should/could go home and rest, and come back later. I was so unsure what we should do, because if we left then we’d have to have the monitor again when we came back, and that was such a hassle. I knew she was ok… that’s just my baby. Anyway, the doctor came in and was fairly negative about my going home. After a phone call with Emily, Jay and I were ok with staying because it was around 6:30am at this point. The nurse promised that we’d be pretty much left alone in our room and I would not have to be hooked up to anything. So we said ok, and they admitted me. Surreal, surreal, surreal! Off we went to the beautiful birthing room. I looked around and though, ok, wow, this is it, here we go – this is where I will have my baby. But first, I was to try to rest a bit since we only had about 4 hours of sleep. The new nurse (we had multiple nurses, but all were very friendly and in a sort of supportive awe of our hypnobirthing/natural peaceful plans – they were fantastic) hooked up my hep port, the fact of which annoyed the hell out of me but later I would not even notice its little itty bitty pinch. At this point in hindsight perhaps I should have begun my hypnobirthing scripts. But I was honestly worried they would not help things get going if I was too calm. We had a 12 hour ticking window in which to get things “started”. But of course I was too uncomfortable/amped up to really sleep. Jay went home to check on our dog Hurley and get some stuff, and our doula Kristen showed up. When Emily came she told me we had 2 plans of action to get my contractions in gear, and the first was to walk a loop around the hospital for an hour. Next up would be nipple stimulation in the shower, and after that, pitocin. Well I sure did not want pitocin. So Kristen and I walked in a circle, ironically walking past the nurse’s station and the OB with his grumpy old face. We laughed and chatted and slowly contractions began to creep up. After the hour was up, we went back to the room – it was about 12:15. I decided I’d like to take a shower, and soon they started coming on with regularity. So as contractions began to pick up, I sat on the birth ball leaning against a chair and Kristen would rub my back slowly with lavender lotion. Jay put on the Inner Peace cd (which I realized later played on a loop the entire birth) and mostly they just sat there quietly. The lights were dim and everything was quiet. Nurses came in every hour to check my vitals and I’d have to get up in the bed so they could Doppler listen to the baby. That was uncomfortable because the more they had me move the faster they came. I sat in the chair and Kristen gave me acupressure; she had Jay and I slow dance and as we did they continued to become regular. Emily came to check on me and at this point (2:30pm) I’d been checked and I was 4cm and 80% effaced (I was 3cm and 60% at 4am). They cheered that but to me I thought, “are you serious, all of these contractions only got me 1cm?” But they told me the effacing was the huge part, once I was 100% thinned out then all I had to do (“all”) was dilate. Though I visualized what my body was doing, I would be lying if I said it didn’t hurt. It was just a different kind of pain. It was a heat that radiated from my lower abdomen around my lower back and up through my stomach. They began to grow with strength and with that strength the heat traveled farther. It was sort of a searing feeling, yet I accepted it for what it was. I had always accepted the fact that I would face each change or challenge with peace and openness and that things most likely would not happen as I had imagined, just for the mere sake that I’d never had this birth before, much less any baby. By 2:30pm I could only sit on the birth ball and I was completely turned inward. I’d open my eyes sometimes between contractions, and see Jay and Kristen calmly watching me, but I was much less able to interact with them. Before I’d chat a bit or even joke, but now I was in a completely other place. I really wanted to get into that tub, but the nurse said Emily wanted me to be 6cm and I was only 4 at this time. To me that was a bit distressing of an idea because it felt like the contractions were never ending – sure, they’d peak, but they just continued on and the ache spread around my back. I had a continual ache that increased in contractions and I thought surely the hot water would relieve that Emily arrived and I could see the few times I opened my eyes that she was calculating a decision while she watched me. She knelt next to me where I was on the birth ball and asked about what I was feeling, and said, “so you want to get in the tub?” and I said yes. Time at this point did not really exist...it was a definite time warp, a long stretch with no discernible rhythm that was instead just the rhythm of my body. They got me into the tub, and it was relief. But I also couldn’t find a position that gave me that ultimate release I was imagining. After awhile Emily wanted me to get out and try other positions and it seemed like it had only been 20 minutes but I guess I’d been in there an hour and a half! So they got me up and I had to keep stopping as every step felt like a contraction. We tried various positions but my hip sockets were burning and my thighs began burning too and finally Emily said she thought it would be a good idea to check me. I was 7cm and I think entirely effaced. They were excited and encouraging, only 3 more cm! but to me it seemed like an eternity of centimeters. Not that I had any sense of time anymore anyway. All I knew is there was no going back or changing anything at all. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that but here I was. Anyway she let me back in the tub. I was sort of miserable just from the pure intensity, and as it turns out I would not leave the tub again. I was completely and utterly engrossed. Jay spent almost the whole birth – hours – holding me up under my armpits while I tried to let go. I’d open my eyes and see them watching me, yet it did not matter to me that they all just looked at me. Emily told me over and over to relax my jaw and my forehead and I knew in my subconscious that was to relax my pelvic floor. I remotely thought about how my sister had told me she begged for an epidural at this point (she had a successful unmedicated waterbirth) and somehow that made it to my consciousness and I made a conscious decision to NOT mention that ever or at all, so, I breathed instead. Soon I felt as if my entire body was pushing. I'd liken it to when you are throwing up or convulsing and have no control – it is a complete body reaction and 150% not an option. I tried to breathe down a few times but that left me quickly because my body was doing it on its own and I knew I had to give in. It was so hard to give in though. Emily finally said she thought she really needed to check me, and I was entirely dilated. I was in the home stretch, they said. And sure enough, as if a switch went off, the pushing contractions that were happening every other one or so started flowing rapid fire. I was vaguely aware that Emily told me they were setting up for delivery. I remotely knew there were nurses watching me. All I knew for a fact was that I was fully in my body and with my baby. Emily began to tell me to give in to it. I tried, and I knew that was the right thing to do, but the threshold to cross was so, so hard. Emily checked me and said, “Samara, reach down here and feel your baby’s head.” I did and I felt this soft slippery hair! That almost put me over the edge but I thought, it feels like she is coming out yet she is still inside! How was that possible! Even though they were telling me I was doing "fantastic", at this point I didn’t feel fantastic and I just wanted her out! Emily told me, you are almost done and I would not say that if you truly weren’t. I suddenly had this true recognition that I had to give in and finish this now. I had to get it done. She told me, a few more good pushes, and when I tell you to stop when she is crowning, you have to stop and wait for the next contraction. That was the hardest thing of all but I realized I was about to meet my baby. She was right there! These emotions were surging through me and never had I wanted a contraction to happen as much as I did right then. The craziest thing was feeling her whole little body slide out of me in one great rush, and time stood still. Emily said, “Samara, reach down and get your baby.” I opened my eyes in this state of no time and space, and I reached down… and I felt like I saw the face of god when I pulled my little girl, Julia Rosemarie, up onto my chest. Her tiny slippery body quivered and I held her and I saw her eyes were instantly open and darting around. She looked freaked out and terrified, and I felt a bit heart broken, like maybe I failed her because I dreamed of her being born calm with tranquility… but I suppose there was no really shaping her experience beyond that because she is, truly, her own being. I looked into her eyes as she looked around in shock as if to say, “what have you done to me" but I think also recognition when I spoke to her. She cried and cried and I held her telling her I loved her; I knew that she was the most incredible and beautiful gift from the universe that ever existed – and, in an instant, I wanted to protect her from everything, always. I was vaguely aware of Jay clamping and cutting the cord. Then they had me give her to him, and I had to get out so they could finish with the placenta. After awhile it was clear Emily wasn’t happy because the placenta wasn’t coming. They gave Julia back to me and we cuddled skin to skin and she looked at me, those big beautiful eyes taking me in and me taking her in. But once again there was a time frame. They told me they needed to give me pitocin to try to get the placenta to come out. I didn’t care. I held my perfect angel Julia though I could see on Emily’s face that she was so frustrated. Well they had to get an OB because they were going to have to manually remove it which meant putting a hand into my uterus and literally scraping it out. I was trying to bear it out because I did the whole thing with no pain meds, and they said though what the could give me would be a low dose it would still make me woozy. I was weeping at this point because I did all of this unmedicated and the last thing I wanted was to be woozy for the first few hours with my baby. But it was excruciating and Kristen held my hand and said to me, “this is not the same as birth Samara. This is suffering and you do not need to suffer.” So I consented – & all it did was take the edge off, like a glass of wine. The pressure was still insane, but afterward it was instant relief. Jay gave Julia back to me and she snuggled in. Now I was beaming, relaxed, & I felt incredible. I was overwhelmed now with the mothering hormone I suppose, but I was ecstatic. I was so, so, so grateful that she was healthy and perfect and beautiful, just as I always knew she was. She was everything I’d believed she was, and way beyond. When once she had been attached to my life force, she was now her own entity. I could hardly believe that we created her. We created her, but I am utterly certain her spirit was all her own. It was the most intense experience of my entire life by far, but Kristen, Emily and Jay were incredible at getting me through it. They told me I was the picture of strength and calm, though I have to say I was so overwhelmed I didn't feel like it. I spent most of it with my eyes closed I think. Time was completely lost and having to completely give in to my body and surrender was so, so challenging but, I did it. I had a completely unmedicated waterbirth and Julia Rosemarie Sauls was born on December 9th at 7:12pm after 17 hours - 6 pounds 13 ounces and 18 inches long. I wanted to bring her into the world peacefully, and I did it; when I held her to me I swear my heart broke into a hundred million pieces. I have never met a little being more incredibly beautiful and perfect in my entire life. I think there is absolutely no way to understand what that feels like without having had a baby, but she completely defines love. To know that I created her and brought her into this world leaves me utterly speechless. I whispered to her that I'd already loved her for 9 months, and it didn't even compare to what exploded in my heart when I met her.

Mollie's Birth Story so wednesday August 11th, i was having mild contractions all day...kind of unusual for me because i wasn't having contractions during the day before then. i had errands to run, so i grabbed my hospital bag and sophia's bags (my 3yr old) just in case i went in to labor while i was out. nothing really happened with the contractions...they never got stronger or were very frequent... came home from errands and took a nap and had a normal rest of the night around 10 pm, my "normal" contractions started...i had been regularly having contractions and cervix pain between 10pm and 1am every night...usually nothing more than menstrual cramp strength...but by 11pm, i noticed they were a bit stronger (still not unusual because saturday night i had some really strong contractions that went no where) so at 11, i casually was watching the clock on my computer and they were about a min or so long and 10 mins apart...sean went to bed at midnight and i didn't say anything to him about my contractions because i wanted him to sleep but i ended up using a contraction timer to get more accurate timings...i even found an app that worked on my phone by 1am or so, the contractions were still a min long but were now less than 10 mins apart...they ranged from anywhere from 4 mins apart to 8 mins apart... and who wakes up to join me? sophia!! she refuses to go back to sleep. i get her to lay down on the floor with a pillow and i turn on some terrible movie. normally if something like that happens, she will fall asleep right away with terrible uninteresting tv on. but she didn't this time! she knew something was going on with me by 2am, i figure this is the real deal, so i called the midwives and they told me to go to the hospital because i was already so far along dilated, that i shouldn't wait....i wake up sean and we get to the hospital by 3am and sean's sister comes to pick up sophia i get into bed and they go to check how far a long i was...i was laying on my back and i was about to tell them that i felt nauseous and dizzy...but i didn't get to say any of that before i passed out!! sean said my eyes rolled back in my head and i freaked everyone out! sean said i was out for 5 mins or so! they rolled me on my side and i eventually woke back up....i had had these dizzy/nauseous spells whenever i laid on my back during this pregnancy...it would happen during my visits to the midwives...but i was fine after they got me off my back so i work through the contractions for a while...becky and the nurse had me moving all over...my water broke while i was in bed...that was a gross feeling! i didn't notice it like that with sophia....i got to almost 10 cms probably around 5-530am but i had a bit of cervix that refused to budge...becky wanted me to push around 6-630am while she pushed that bit of cervix away...(but my cervix has always been really tender ever since i had sophia and it was extremely painful and uncomfortable to have her do that and i kept pushing their hands out of there!!!) so i'm trying to push and i'm not pushing right...i was all tense in my legs and arms and just couldn't get it right....i was wanting to give up...i'm pretty sure i pissed everyone off because i wasn't pushing right and i kept saying i couldn't do it, etc. sean said he wanted to smack me to get some sense into me eventually i told them to leave me alone for a bit to work through the contractions on my own and i got on all 4's...i did a little bit of pushing by myself while dealing with the contractions and then we tried it again and i was pushing much better that time...all in my butt like i'm supposed to and at 736am, Mollie Mae was born 8.15lbs and she has a huge head! i'm proud to say that i did this without meds, but i really don't know if i would do that again in the future....i don't like pain at all!!!! i wanted to give up a bunch of times...i'm pretty embarrassed by that but let me tell you that recovery is sooooooooooo much better than it was with sophia...i was able to pee and walk right after birth...with sophia i couldn't feel my legs and i couldn't pee and had to be cathed...i feel better every day now and i walked out of the hospital on my own, no wheelchair

Atticus' Birth Story The Thursday before my due date, I made a list of things I needed to do the coming weekend, before the baby’s arrival. My due date was on Monday, Feb 8th, but knowing that first time babies usually come late, I figured I had plenty of time to take care of a few last minute details. Nonetheless, I did have my bags mostly packed for the hospital, and a list sitting on top of the things I would need to pack last minute (like, my curling iron. because, of course, that would be important to have postpartum). I was super tired that day, like most of those last days, so suggested to Bill that we eat out that night, to avoid cooking and dirty dishes. We went down the street to Aladdin’s. During dinner, I mentioned to Bill that this might very well be our last dinner out as a twosome. I enjoyed my dinner, and the night carried on as usual.We watched some tv at home, and then we went to bed. Somewhere around 4:30 the next morning, I experienced a strange sensation that woke me up. It was not painful really, but it was a sensation I had not experienced yet. Kind of like a mild cramp. My mind raced for a moment. It was different from Braxton Hicks. Was it a real contraction? I didn’t know. But I should get some sleep just case it was. I had a few more of these sensations, every 20 min or so for a little while, but as I said, they were not painful, so I just tried to keep sleeping. Around 6, I got up to go to the bathroom, and discovered a bit of blood tinged mucus. I was losing my mucus plug. Putting this with the sensation that I was having, I suspected that I might be in early labor. When I came back from the bathroom Bill asked me if everything was ok, and I told him we might be having a baby today, but he either didn’t hear me or was too sleepy to understand, because he just went back to sleep without saying anything. Not me, I was way to excited now, even though I knew it would be in my best interest to sleep before any discomfort began. But, I just laid there tossing and turning until Bill’s alarm went off. When Bill woke up, I filled him in. I told him that I thought I was in early labor, but I wasn’t so sure, and that he should get ready as usual, and if things progressed for me after getting up, he would call off work. If not, he would go in to work, but be seriously stuck by his phone. During this time, I continued to have contraction, maybe 10 or so minutes apart. He called work and told them that he wanted to see what would happen, and that he would call them back around 10 and let them know if he was coming in or if I was going into labor for real. Over the next hour or so, as we tooled around the house, my contractions came closer together, about 5 or 6 minutes apart. They became more uncomfortable, but i was able to breathe through them, and i took a hot shower, which helped a lot. Bill made me some oatmeal and did the dishes so we wouldnt have dirty ones to come home to. I called my midwife (Emily was on call that day) to let her know what was happening. She said she would call back at 1 to check on me. That seemed like a long time, but I went with it. It was snowing. When people asked me beforehand if I was nervous about the birth, I said the thing I was worried about was the possibility of a snowstorm, since we seem to get a bad on every February. I didn’t want to be snowed in and have an unplanned unassisted labor! While I was laboring, and waiting for Emily to call again, the news was talking about the bad storm coming our way, and then snow was slowly but steadily piling up outside. This made me quite nervous. I finished packing our bags, I talked to my mom, and the contractions became more painful. I kept trying different positions to sit or lay in to ease this discomfort. I eventally ended up in the shower again, because the water was so soothing. While I was showering, Emily called again. I told her that my contractions were steady at 5 minutes, lasting about a minute, and that that they were becoming more painful. She asked me what I wanted to do. I knew that the benefits of laboring at home for as long as possible were great, but the weather was making me very nervous, so I told her I wanted to get to the hospital before the snow got too bad. I told her we would leave our place in half an hour, and she said she would meet us at the hospital shortly after we were to arrive. I got dressed (leggings and crocs!), and while Bill packed the car, I made a peanut butter sandwich and packed some juice to have on the way over. Emily recommended I drink the juice on the way to make sure the baby was awake and active when I got to the hospital, so that the triage nurses would see that I didn’t need continuous monitoring. As I was making my food, Chino came into the kitchen and stole a baggie of pitas off of the counter. I tried to wrestle it away from his so he wouldnt eat the plastic. I had a contraction while I was wrestling the dog, and the combination was too much for me to handle, so I puked in the sink. Bill walked in from the car right at that moment, and I was embarrassed, but realized that he was going to witness a lot more mess that day than some regurgitated oatmeal. I cleaned out the sink, thankful that Bill had already done the dishes, because that would have been a headache to clean up. I felt very sick now, so I threw my sandwich away, and we got in the car. Our drive was much longer than it would have normally taken because of the weather. I think it took us around 30 minutes to get to St. Ann’s hospital. Contractions in the car were the worst. I could not sit comfortably in the car at all. When we finally got to the hospital (around 2), Bill offered to drop me off at the door so I could check in while he parked the car, but I really didn’t want to go in by myself, so I walked with him from the parking lot. I’m not sure what I expected checking in to be like, but it was ind of a miserable experience. When we got to the maternity ward, and went up to the check in desk, the lady asked why I was here. I told her I was in labor. She took down my name, and told me to have a seat, there were a couple people ahead of me. I wasn’t expecting that at all. I knew our midwife had called ahead to let them know we were on our way, and I had pre-registered weeks ago, so I didn’t really know why we had to wait. Anyway, during that time I had a couple of contractions in the waiting room, and felt very exposed about the whole thing. I was not comfortable laboring in front of strangers. The woman at the desk saw that I really was in active labor (I don’t know if she didn’t believe me or what), and asked a family who was checking in for an induction if it was ok if I went ahead of them since I was in the active stage. Of course they had no problem with that. I had to give my insurance info and everything, which was really obnoxious because I took the time to pre-register that info and it didn’t seem to save us any time. We finally went into triage, where a nurse came in, allowed me to change into a hospital gown, and took my vitals and checked my cervix, which was dilated to 4 cm. She hooked the fetal monitor around my belly and abdomen so she could monitor the baby’s heart rate for 20 minutes, to see what was happening during contractions. During this time, she also asked me a million questions. I hated this part so much. I tend to be a very private person, so I hated laboring in front of a nurse I didn’t know, and I hated that she was certainly very busy, and thus didn’t offer any comfort but just fired question after question at me, without looking in my direction at all. During this time, I also threw up again, all of the juice I drank on the car ride over. I was really scared when this happened, not for my health, but worried that the nurses would try to make me have a continuous IV since I had thrown up twice. But she didn’t say anything about it, phew. The baby’s heart rate was fine, so we got to go to our hospital room. The L&D rooms at St. Ann’s are very nice and spacious, especially if you get one with a tub, which we did. I think Emily got there right around that time. She had us walk around while she did some charts. She gave me some tips on how to cope with contractions while we were walking, and told when we would need to stop back in to the room to be monitored again. If i remember correctly, it’s the practice at most hospitals to monitor the baby for 20 minutes out of every hour. Every time I went on the monitor, the baby’s heart rate was fine. After walking for what seemed like forever, we went back to our room to try some other things. I labored in the shower for a while, which felt the best. I labored on the birth ball, which I didn’t like at all. I labored sitting backwards on the toilet, which I think was best overall, because in this position I really felt like things were progressing. The contractions felt rally productive, and I rested my head on a pillow between them, which was relaxing. I felt like I was in a trance. I had my eyes closed most of the time, and was almost asleep in between contractions. It’s so cool the way our body copes with things. In all of the books I read, and in the classes I took, and even in all of my prenatal appointments, everyone stressed moving around in to different positions during labor, to cope with pain and to help the baby progress. But no one anywhere mentioned that when you move or stand up, you have a seriously intense contraction as your uterus deals with your new position. Things started to get really intense for me, and I was making a lot of vocalizations to cope with the pain of the contractions. Deep vocalizations helped, and when I would get to high pitched, Emily would remind me to bring my vocalizations lower, because tensing up is counter productive. I seriously would not have gotten through it without our awesome midwife. She was supportive and sensitive, but also really no nonsense. At one point when things got really intense, I remember saying that I was scared, and she was like, what are you scared of? You are doing great. When I was writing out my birth plan, I knew that I wanted to be allowed to eat and drink during labor. But I was seriously nauseous and could not deal with more than small sips of water between contractions. I really wanted to get in the tub, but despite the intensity of my contractions, they were still relatively far apart. Emily was concerned that if I got in the water too early, my labor would slow down or halt. She asked if I wanted her to break my water, to see if it would help me progress a bit. Beforehand, I didn’t think that I would want my membranes ruptured artificially, but in the midst of all that intensity, the possibility of speeding things along sounded great. And speed things up it did. After she broke my water, it all happened so fast that I can barely remember it all. But I do remember this. There was meconium in the water. Even though I had read about this beforehand, I had to ask Emily to explain to me what exactly it meant. Which shows that even with a lot of preparation, during such active labor it is hard to focus on and remember the facts, which is why a supportive labor team is so important. She said that it meant that I would have to remain hooked up to the monitor so they could make sure the baby was alright. Which meant I would not be able to go in the tub. Which ended up not being such a big deal since things happened so fast after that. I tried sitting in the bed with my feet in a frog leg position, but that positions made it really hard for me to cope between contractions. I rolled over into a side laying position. And that is when my body started to push. I have heard people talk about feeling the urge to push, but that does not describe what happened to me. It was not an urge, my body was just doing it. I was only 8 or so cm dilated, so Emily was like, you cannot push yet, you have got to focus and breathe through these next few contractions. It was so hard not to push, and at this point I felt really out of control. Bill was trying to get me to do some Lamaze breathing, and i tried, but it was just too crazy. I must have looked like a wild woman the way I was looking at him. I felt wild. After a few contractions, my cervix was completely dilated, so I was able to push. I pushed in a semi reclined position, curling my body up with every push. They lowered the mirror down from the ceiling, and everyone could see the baby’s head crowning. Everyone was exclaiming about all the hair they could see on the baby’s head, but I couldn’t see because I wasn’t wearing my glasses and the mirror was too far away. When I said this, one of the nurses was really sad for me and asked if I wanted someone to get my glasses, but i was like, no, I don’t care at this point, I just want to do this. Feeling the stretch of the baby’s head crowning was a crazy feeling. It feels painful, but also really productive, so it is an exciting pain. After I pushed the head out, Emily told me to stop because the cord was around the baby’s neck. So she unwrapped the cord, and I pushed the rest of the baby’s body out. It only took 20 or 30 minutes of pushing for the baby to be born. Bill announced that it was a boy! And in those few seconds between his announcement and the baby being placed into my arms, I didn’t know if I believed him. I had felt such a strong intuition that the baby would be a girl, that I thought to myself, I needed to double check for myself. They placed him in my arms, and I held him tight and just kept repeating over and over how much I loved him. Atticus Finch. My sweet baby boy. He cried as I held him, and waited for the placenta to be born. But it wasn’t coming. In retrospect, I know that breastfeeding can stimulate the uterus to contract, but I did not nurse him right away, probably because I was still very uncertain of how and wanted someone to help me, but I didn’t ask at that point. The hospital has a policy that if the placenta isn’t delivered in 30 minutes, they have to manually remove it. I didn’t (and still don’t) really know what that entails, but it sounded awful, so I agreed to some pitocin. I really wanted to deliver the placenta on my own, but it didn’t work out that way. After the placenta was birthed, I let the nurses clean Atticus up and take his blood sample while I got stitched up (I ended up with a 2nd degree tear). Bill held him until they were finished, and they just looked into each others eyes. After I was all stitched up, I nursed Atticus for the first time, with some help from Emily before we moved on to our recovery room. He was born at 7:51pm on Feb 5, 7 lbs 2 oz and 21.5 in long.

Sophie's Birth Story It was Sunday afternoon, December 13, and my husband and I were out Christmas shopping. I was feeling very uncomfortable, probably the worst I had felt during my third trimester. I felt like my baby was trying to crawl out on her own. My parents were keeping our 2 and a half year old son, Christian, for a couple days because it was just past my due date, and they didn't want to take any chances of driving through the predicted snow storm to come watch him. My mom honestly thought I was going to go into labor soon anyway, being that my first baby was born 3 weeks prior to my due date. I was 3 days over my due date at this point. Once we were finished shopping, I was very hungry, tired, and really just needed to sit down so we stopped at a restaurant to eat one of the best meals of my life. We arrived home early evening and oddly, I felt very restless. I joked with my husband, Mitch, saying that we were out all day and I had felt miserable, why in the world was I feeling restless now? I paced a lot, and then around 9:00PM, my usual nightly Braxton-Hicks contractions kicked in. They were nothing unusual, and I continued with my typical routine of eating a bowl of cereal, drinking a couple glasses of water, and finally settling in with a bath around midnight. I called in my husband while I was bathing and smiling, remarked, "That's odd. My Braxton-Hicks aren't going away. Wouldn't it be convenient if I went into labor tonight?" Following the bath, I had some light contractions that felt more like labor pains as opposed to the uncomfortable tightening of the Braxton-Hicks, so I figured the ultimate test to decide if this was real labor or not was to lie down and go to sleep. In the past couple of weeks, my contractions would go away when I would lie down, but on this night, I had one or two while lying down in bed. It still wasn't convincing, but then I started to have deep back pain. This was a new experience (and pain) for me, and I found being on my hands and knees brought me some relief. I finally got up and went into the living room as to not keep my husband up with my moving around. I think it was around 1:00AM at this point. I finally was relaxed and tired enough to fall asleep until a contraction woke me up about an hour later. Reflecting back on my sleep, I realized I had not been dreaming but had been having several contractions, they just weren't strong enough (or I was just that tired) to wake me up fully. I then alternated between sitting on my big exercise ball and walking around to see the strength and consistency of the contractions. At one point, I was standing in my dark kitchen and just rubbing my belly and talking to the baby. I kept telling her that I was just so excited to meet her and could not wait to find out if she was a girl or boy. I found a lot of peace with the calmness that filled my quiet mind and the love and anticipation I had for my baby. I actually felt so happy and content to be in labor. But then a very strong contraction broke my concentration and several more quickly followed. I realized the ride had really started, and as I had to breathe, lean against the wall, and really concentrate, I decided to wake my husband around 3:00AM and tell him to get around as I was in labor, and it was suddenly progressing. I kept on my feet and paced as he got around to go to the hospital. I promised myself to stay on my feet, keep moving, and keep my body relaxed. I then in between contractions attempted to pull my hair back and put my contacts in. I didn't feel like being in my glasses like I was when laboring with my son. For some reason this made me laugh so I decided to keep up my humor and the feeling of 'normalcy' no matter how intense I felt as a way of coping with this labor and birth. Mitch then started dialing the midwives and I told him to wait, let's see how close the contractions are so we can tell them. They were definitely 2-3 minutes apart. After making phone calls and getting a hold of Emily, I grabbed my already packed bag, and we headed out the door. The drive was slow due to the storm that had passed through recently, and we had to stop once to fix the windshield wipers as they had frozen to the windshield. Fortunately, I felt very calm on the drive. Mitch supported me by keeping his hand on my leg and every once in awhile said I was doing a really good job. This was helpful and I felt very close to him and just so thankful he was there at my side. I tried to make small talk now and again, commenting on the dead highway, how lucky we were that my parents had Christian, etc. Most of the time, though, I just concentrated on staying relaxed through all my contractions. During each one, I made a goal to keep a particular body part relaxed throughout the contraction. This little 'game' was distracting and helped me relax overall. We finally arrived at the hospital and as we were waiting at admissions to be checked in, I vomited. Thankfully, that relieved the nausea I felt during the contractions. I later found out from Emily that our check in time was 4:55AM. I went to triage, excitedly found out I was 7cm, and was immediately taken up to labor and delivery. I was put on the fetal monitoring strip and an IV was attempted, but because the nurse didn't get the IV in on the first try and there wasn't much time left, it was skipped. I found it best to labor on my feet, and then I got up on the bed on my knees and leaned over the back of the bed. This really helped. I focused on a lot of what I had read from Ina May's books and just kept a positive attitude, remembering why I was there. I focused on keeping my body relaxed, not tensing my face, not even squeezing my husband's hand, but instead letting him squeeze mine. In between contractions, I truly relaxed and just let my mind go blank, which was surprisingly easy to do. I didn't have much time in between contractions, anyway. Emily checked me again after awhile, and as I was still 7-8cm, she said we could break my waters and "let's have a baby!" That line reverberated through my mind and truly kept me going. The excitement that was behind that sentence pushed me forward and kept me focused on knowing that each contraction brought me closer to my baby and that this pain was for something -- I was having a baby! I had some meconium in my waters, but things moved very quickly. I felt the sensation of the baby 'drop' lower into my pelvis, and although it briefly hurt, I was thankful I had not been lying down the whole time. I knew my body was working. After a couple of very intense contractions that tested my limits, I felt a very different sensation. It was even more intense then the previous contractions, and as I reached down I felt my baby's head crowning and realized the baby was coming out, whether I was pushing her out or not! I remember wanting her out so bad and as her head came out while on my hands and knees, I was told to flip around on my back to push her shoulders and the rest of her body out. At 5:26AM, a half hour after checking in at the hospital, Sophia Rose arrived into the world. She was quickly checked and found to be healthy! She gave a couple short wails, and then was quiet and alert. My husband hugged me and joyfully exclaimed that I got my girl! I was glad he told me because I had forgotten to care, I was just relieved to be done! Once on my belly, she grasped my finger, and I thanked God for such a blessing. She has continued to this day to be that blessing!

Brooke's Birth Story It was July 16th, the due date of baby number 2, at my last check-up I was almost 4 cm and station 0. I couldn’t take being cooped up in the house any longer, so, I decided that I would go to Zak’s tennis match on campus at OSU which started at 8:30 pm. Zak was hesitant on me going since it was a 25 min. drive for us and thought I needed to stay at home. I told him I wasn’t going to sit around waiting for something to happen. We go to the match and I was sitting on a hill watching my 3 year old roll down the hill over and over and over. I took many great pictures. Then I started noticing (what I thought to be) more Braxton-Hicks, very common in late pregnancy. I looked at my phone to see what time it was, just incase, it was 9 pm. Then I had the urge to get a Coke, I figured I needed the caffeine, which was odd because I don’t drink anything caffeinated after dinner. We finally get home from the tennis match around 10 and prank called my mom about me being in labor. I hadn’t told Zak about my Braxton-Hicks, why should I? This wasn’t anything new at this point in time. Needless to say, my mom was mad at us. She lives two hours away and was ready to leave at the drop of a hat to come hold her new grandbaby. Then everyone went to bed, Alexis (daughter number one) and Zak, who slept in the guest bedroom because I was uncomfortable and “moved around too much”. I just laid around in my bed trying to figure out if I was in labor yet. At about 11:30 pm I decided to start timing my contractions. Yep, 5 minutes apart. After I timed that for about an hour, I texted one of my friends who wants to be a midwife. She calls me up very excited and doesn’t know whether to come down (she too, lives 2 hours away) or wait, since she had work the next day in the afternoon. We talked and chatted for a while on the phone. Then we got off so I could figure everything else out. I finally decided to wake up Zak and tell him, it was 1:30 am. He was half awake and I told him to go back asleep for a while. He said okay, then when he realized I said 3-4 minutes apart, he was wide awake and concerned. So, at this point in time, I started packing my bag, calling the babysitter who was supposed to watch Alexis, and trying to get a hold of Becky. This was the part of my “plan” that I couldn’t make work at all! The babysitter slept through all of my phone calls, and every time Becky would call me back my phone decided not to ring, not to show I had a missed call, and dropped every single call! Yay! So we called grandma again, on Zak’s phone, this time it was about 2:30 am. Boy, was she surprised! She headed on down, not her favorite time of day, but nonetheless, it was for a new grandbaby. We arrive at St. Ann’s at around 3:00 am, give or take, I stopped looking at clocks at this time. We get admitted, made it through Triage, I was almost 5 cm and contractions were still 3-4 minutes apart. Finally we get into our room, and I’m still on the strip until Becky comes in and gets me out of that bed. The labor and delivery nurse was great, I told her I didn’t want to know how close my contractions were or how long. I also told her not to ask me what my discomfort levels were, I didn’t want to think about it more than I had to. In between contractions, life was normal, we chatted about things, like the baby sitter, and my silly phone, and Alexis was even a great help (my mom had not yet arrived), not a burden like I worried about. Eventually I was able to get in the water and labor there for a while, which was a nice relief on my back. I remember being so hot! They told me the room wouldn’t get any colder, and everyone else was freezing. I found my “routine” that made getting through the contractions easier, and since I didn’t have any concept of time at this point, I was able to get through each and ever one just like the one before. They never got anymore intense by the time we got to the hospital. Then Becky knew I was getting closer and closer to having a baby. She suggested I get out and get checked to see how close I am and switch up positions a bit. She checked me and broke my water, I was at 7 cm. GRRR! I was ready to not be in labor anymore. I sat up in bed and turned towards the back of it while I experience the most intense feeling of my life. Yes, I was transitioning. I think I did that for about 3-4 contractions, I don’t remember fully because it was that intense. Then came a completely different sensation all together. The baby was almost here! Becky had me turn around and calmed me down. Transitioning and pushing are two completely different sensations and I was extremely over-stimulated. So I closed my eyes and just thought of my Hypnobirthing book. I think that was all I thought about, not about any of the techniques… but just the book. But whatever I did put me in a surreal calm. I pushed during a contraction. And then another. Becky made some sly comment to the L & D nurse that I already was getting my little belly back! (Yes, I distinctly remember that conversation they had about my little waist!) Then Becky said the next push will be the head…. And it was, then the next contraction all I thought about was getting those shoulders out! And POUFFFF it was a baby! And all I think I said was, “Finally! Let me lay here for a minute.” They placed the baby on my chest, and everyone was like “what is it what is it” and I still replied, “hold one, I don’t know. I’m tired.” IT WAS A GIRL! Life was good, I was relaxed. She nursed like a professional, two straight hours during recovery. I asked what time it was and was dumbfounded it was only 5:30 am. My mom had just made it there at 5 am just in time to get big sister. Brooke Allison was 7 lbs 12 ozs 19 inches and born on July 17, 2010 at 5:28 am. Then at 8:00 am I ate one of the best breakfast’s of my life! And then asked for more food.

Annabella's Birth Story The Rush of Love I walked out of the office doors and felt the hot July sunlight on my face. I remember standing by my car for a moment and hoping that I would be calling in soon to tell Emily that Miss Annabella was on her way. On my short drive home, I felt very crampy and just different. I thought to myself that I must me over-exaggerating every little movement my baby was making and just having a case of wishful thinking. My husband, Micah and I went to my parents’ house that evening to enjoy the beautiful weather, a nice meal and a pleasant stroll around the property. All the while talking about how awesome it would be if our daughter was born on her due date, the next day. Fast forward to 1 a.m. July 7, my due date. I wake up to some major cramping and uncomfortable feelings. Trying not to get too excited, I go and sit on the couch to read. No way could I really be in labor ON my due date, I’m a first time mom who was just a mere 2 centimeters the afternoon before. Emily and I talk around 5 a.m., my contractions are strong enough that I must pause and breathe through them while on the phone. She tells me to stay strong, relax, take a shower to help with the back labor, and hang tight, things could take awhile. I immediately go turn on the shower, climb in, and like pure magic the warm water washes away the pain and discomfort I was experiencing just moments before. “How awesome!!” I said out loud, “If water can really help this much, I KNOW I can do this!!” What a wonderful feeling I had, despite those pesky contractions! I tried my hardest to relax all day, eating some little crackers here and there, listening to music, getting lots of hard back rubs from Micah, and talking with Emily every few hours. 7 p.m. that evening I decide it’s time to go in (with much persuasion from an anxious grandma-to-be) and see what kind of progress I’ve made after almost 24 hours. Finally after locking our keys in the car, calling the police to get the keys out and persuading them to not call an ambulance I get, “Well, you’re about 3 centimeters and 50 percent effaced,” the nurse said with a straight face. I was really hoping for an “Oh I’m just kidding, you’re ready to go!!” Silly first time mom! I walked the hospital for a good hour, was checked, made no progress, spoke with the ever so patient Emily, and decided to go home and wait it out longer. It’s 5 a.m. on July 8 and we’re headed back to the hospital, this time I KNOW I am not leaving without my daughter in my arms. Sure enough, I had finally made it 6 centimeters and 90 percent effacement!!! “HALLEJULAH!!!” I screamed, scaring the nurse just a wee bit. As soon as my monitoring and hep-lock was in place I was ready for that luxurious labor tub, and oh how awesome it was, especially after vomiting a few times as Emily assures me it’s a good thing! The contractions are strong and still all in my lower back, but the warm water eases all the discomfort making them bearable. Emily sits beside the tub and lightly speaks and jokes with my mother and I, and with each contraction helps me to relax my body and just let go. I don’t think she’ll ever know what they truly did for me during labor, and thereafter. Emily and I go into the restroom so I can utilize the toilet to help bring the baby down. It feels good to sit for awhile, but soon I’m ready to see where I’m at and use the tub again. It’s been about 2 hours and I’m at 7 centimeters, so we break my waters and I’m back in the tub for awhile. Once again, an hour or so later, Emily steps out for a moment and I feel as though I should use the restroom. I sit down, and this sensation just overcomes my body. “Mom, Micah!!! You better go get Emily this baby is about to come out!” Operation Transition is in full effect! Emily goes to check me again, and I remember specifically saying, “If you see hair, just go ahead and pull her out!!” My nurse, who was also a saint, loved my crazy sense of humor especially when I’m at 9 centimeters!!! A quick stint in the tub, a few episodes of vomiting and it’s time to push. The squatting bar is in place and Emily, Micah, and Mom are all at my feet so to say ready for this little life to come. I push through one contraction, and Emily tells me to reach down and feel. In my mind I think she’s crazy because I think I’m just feeling myself, later they tell me it’s my precious baby’s wrinkled head! Contraction number two comes and I now know why they call it the ring of fire, but it wasn’t as bad as I imagined it would be. Finally, lucky number three. My body and soul become separate. I see it all so clear. Micah grabs our precious little life as she enters the world. I see myself look to my mother and simply say, “I am a mother.” My body and soul are now one, as this beautiful, innocent, treasured little being is given to me by her father and we are finally one. Micah, Amanda, and Annabella. All I can do is just look at her in awe. For once in my life, I am speechless. Never in my life did I ever think that childbirth could be so beautiful, so exhilarating, so utterly amazing. If I had one wish, I would wish that every woman could have a birth as empowering, peaceful and blissful as mine. I can honestly say it would make the world a different place. After giving birth to Annabella, I felt and still feel as though I can conquer anything. As crazy as it seems, I feel like I am addicted to giving birth. The feeling I had and the way I feel when I think about that moment, that final push, looking down and meeting the most precious little soul, makes my heart race, my body tingle. I’m back in the moment and I’m feeling the rush. The rush of love.